Okay!!!!! It's officially over!!!! Congrats to everyone who made it through the Blogathon!!! :)

I will email the winners of the drawing later on today to verify their mailing addresses.

It's now time for me to curl up in bed with my two cats and sleep! lol!!!!!

Much love!!! Thanks to everyone who pledged! And to everyone who helped entertain me all night. :)

like me. LOL!!!

http://www.greatfacts.com/

Some of this stuff is..so.."uhh..who cares???"

ALRIGHT, guys, you have another 30 minutes to get your contest stuff in! Please do so! :)

http://www.countrysongtitles.com/ Another that may be funnier later. I just remember us ranting about country music in the chat earlier...lol!!! So, only an HOUR left...TWO more posts after this...oh yeah!!!!

http://www.officeslang.com/


This stuff isn't even funny to me anymore. I'm sure it will be later on...

http://www.namehumor.com/ And only TWO more hours...ohhh!!!!!!!

http://www.crazycriminals.com/ hahaha......oh man...

You do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair.

You believe there is no such thing as a naughty cat.

You decorate your christmas tree with dangly cat toys.

Your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all the cats."

You set a place at the dinner table for your cat.

You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down.

You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids.

You have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine.

You chose a house to buy based on it having a good location for the catbox.

You consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber.

Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your cats are welcome to sleep on any piece they so choose

You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking soooo cute!

Vaccination and licensing records for all your cats are in perfect order, but your checkbook hasn't been balanced in months, and last year's tax records are nowhere to be found.

You refer to going to the bathroom as "using the litterbox."

You accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the floor.

You apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark.

You refer to your cat as your furry child.

Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry "grandchild."

You plan your vacation around the cat show schedule.

You accidentally call your spouse by your cat's name!

You have a set of towels with "his" "hers" and "kitty's."

You call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat.

You and kitty have matching outfits.

You never go to the door unless it's to let a cat out.



Your favorite friends have fleas.

You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal.

You own 17 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers.

You are lost for conversation with non-cat people.

You meow so well, you confuse the cats.

You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between cat foods

90 percent of your Internet connection time goes to the cats (seeing what's
new when you enter your cat's breed into the browser, reading cat newsgroups, viewing photos, sounds and faqs, etc.).

All dates must pass your cat's inspection

All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured
cat you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out
comes the checkbook

All of your charitable donations go to cat-related and humane society
groups.

All of your clothes have cat hair on them, even when they come back from the
laundromat or dry cleaners.

All of your furniture came to you second hand or via curbside discard, but
your cat furniture is top of the line.

All your social activities revolve around other cat people Your voice is
recognized by your vet's receptionist

Any conversation you're having is effortlessly directed back to the topic of
cats

Anyone can look at your (pick all that apply) --- T-shirt - sweatshirt -
coffee mug - keychain - beach towel - cooking apron - couch throw - tote
bag - computer screen saver/wallpaper/mousepad/wristpad/monitor frame - gift
wrapping paper - photographic displays - calendars - refrigerator magnets -
weather vane - door mat - bumper stickers - umbrella - Christmas sweater -
socks - embroidery project - child's collection of stuffed animals - sheets
and bedspread - checks - checkbook covers - throw pillows - Home Pages ---
and know immediately that you are a cat lover, AND probably what particular
breed you favor.

At least three of your five weeks vacation are scheduled around grooming,
vaccinations and dental cleaning for the cats!

Books and movies are ruined for you if the cat references are incorrect.

Call long distance and talk with your cat.

Complete strangers call you on the phone to ask questions because they heard
you were a" cat person"

Cut your vacations to 3 day weekends only.

Every gift you ever get has something to do with cats

If you are cold, you put a sweater on your cat.



Kiss your cat more than 10 times per greeting.

You are on an email list with other cat people and each
one of them feels like more than family.

Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.

More than half your grocery money goes to cat food and treats

Most of your social life is with other cat people.

Most of your vacation pictures are of cats around the world.

No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your
cat(s).

On your 1040 form all your charitable donations are to Humane Societies,
Shelters and Rescue groups.

One of your vet files is labeled "Other"



Onlookers grimace at the sight of you sharing your sandwich with your cat, bite for bite

Order 250 Xmas photos of just the cat, no family in photos.

Order 5x7 photos of the kids and order 16x20 pictures of your cat.

Overnight guests (who share your bed) are offended by having to sleep with
you and the cat(s)

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.

Relative solidity of cat excrement is a suitable topic for discussion in mixed company.

You get birthday cards for each of your cats from family, friends, and the vet. (Bonus if you keep them on the refrigerator for more
than a month.)

The family's eye doctor is located in town, but the cat's ophthalmologist is
located a two-hour drive away.

The first question you ask when on a date is: "So, do you like animals?"

The guardians of your cats will receive a larger amount of insurance policy money than will all other members of your family, combined.

The highlight of your day is spending time with your cat.

The instructions to the cat kennel/sitter are longer than the instructions to the
house sitter.



The largest display of collectibles in the house is cat stuff -- plates, photos, cards, etc.

The most exciting times on vacations, no matter where in the world you go, is when you get to pet a cat (a "feline fix").

The only (or at least first) forum you log onto is the animal forum

The only thing your friends, colleagues, and passing acquaintances say to you when they see you is, "How are the cats?" or "How many cats do you have
now?"

The part of your will dealing with your cats is longer than any other part.

The thought of changing a baby's diaper makes you swoon, but you can pick up cat poop barehanded, if necessary, without batting an eye

The whereabouts of all your important legal and personal documents escapes you, yet you know precisely where to locate the file that includes all the
vet records.

When you need someone to talk to, your cat is your first choice.

While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the cat?"

You and the cat come down with something like flu on the same day. Your cat sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.



You and your family haven't had your annual check up in two years, but the cats are all medically up to date

You are unbelievably pleased to receive a cat item (any cat item) as a gift --especially from a "non-cat" friend. (They really cared even if it's
not your breed.)

You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your cat is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

You become paranoid about keeping ID on your cat at all times (collar, tags, microchip, etc...), but don't bother to carry any ID yourself.

You become the family cat kennel/sitter for all your relatives

You believe every cat is a lap cat.

You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every cat in the neighborhood. You know their names.

You break down and buy another pillow so you can have one to sleep on

You buy a bigger bed that will comfortably sleep six

You buy premium quality cat kibble for your cat, but live on take-out, frozen pizza, and blue-box macaroni and cheese yourself.

You can only remember people by associating them with their cat

You can't fully enjoy yourself without your cat.



You carry pictures of your cat in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.

You celebrate cat events (new cat, cat birthday, etc.) by throwing catered parties with lots of people--but you ignore your
own birthday.

You change jobs so you can spend more time with the cats.

You describe your children as having temperaments rather than personalities

You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your cat.

You don't mind it when you find cat hair in the sink, tub, embedded in the carpet or your clothes, or mixed in your food. (Take an extra point if you
don't bother trying to remove the hair from your food).

You don't think twice about sitting on the floor because both the couch and the chair are completely cat full

You don't think twice about trading licks of an ice cream cone with your cat.

You hang around the cat section of your local bookstore.

You hate posing for pictures unless you're with your cat.

You have 32 different names for your cat. Most make no sense, but the cat understands them all.

You have a bad day and decide that your cat is the best "person" to talk it over with.



You have extra cat collars on the walls, grooming tools on the
TV and sofa, cat beds strewn across all flat surfaces, kibble crud around
the base of your cabinets, chew toys everywhere, cat-fur dust rhinos
skidding across the carpet, and a long line of drips from the water bowl
to the living room across the hardwood floors--and you don't care. (Bonus
if you have important company coming and you ignore all the housekeeping in order to groom the cats before company arrives.)

You have hundreds of pictures of your cats on your desk at work, in your wallet, etc., but none of your family or yourself.

You have kiddie gates permanently installed at strategic locations in the house--but no kids.

You have little songs that you sing to your cat.

You have no reservations about kissing your cat on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been.

You have three Home Pages -- all of them dealing with your cats, your friends' cats, your cats' friends, etc.

You have your cat talk to your friends on the phone.

You justify the addition of a significant other in your life so you can have someone around to pet sit when you go away on business travel.

You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your cat gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first
floor).

You keep eating even after finding a cat hair in your pasta.

You keep license tags from cats that have passed away.

You know more about feline nutrition than human nutrition (and it shows).

You lecture people on responsible cat ownership.

You let the neighbor's cat sleep over.

You like people who like your cat. You despise people who don't.

You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your cat.

You meet other people with cats, and remember their cat's call name after 30 seconds, but don't get the owner's name until you've met them 2 or 3
times. Last names take 3-4 meetings unless you've heard about the people from other cat people first.

You give your cat your last name.

You never think about how much money you spend on the cats (or how much debt you could reduce by not having them around).

You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your cat.

You put an extra blanket on the bed so your cat can be comfortable.

You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

You send out especially-made holiday cards that feature you and the cats

You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your cat can reach all her favorite spots.

You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your cat.

You sit on the floor if the cat got in the chair first.

You snuggle closer to the cat than the person with whom you are sleeping



You spend more time and effort grooming your cat than yourself. (And it shows--your cat gets more compliments than you do.)

You spend more time on the computer dealing with "cat stuff" than "other stuff"

You take bereavement leave when you cat dies.

You talk about your cat the way other people talk about their kid.

You use kennel disinfectant in the house.

You wake in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and your feet hit
a wet spot. You look at the cat in bed with you and he looks at you like
"Not me! Must have been one of the other cats."

You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your cat than go to the movies with your sweetie.

You'll buy anything with your cat's breed on it.

Your "Welcome" sign has a cat on it.

Your bedspread doesn't have to coordinate with the bedroom, as it's always
covered with a sheet for the cats, anyway. Ditto for the couches.

Your carpeting matches the color of your cat - purposely

Your children (wife, husband, etc.) Complain that you always take more
pictures of the cat than you do of them

Half your laundry is cat blankets, sheets, and beds. (Bonus: Your cat was
sick on them and you have to sneak into the local laundromat at midnight to
do the wash.)

Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies

Your desk proudly displays your cat family

Your cat brings a dead mouse/bird/ into the kitchen and generously gives
it to you with a big smile. You say "For me? Thank you." and take it for
granted it is just another day.

Your cat decides he doesn't like someone and you tend to agree

Your cat does something wonderfully cute, and you call your friends to tell
them about it. (Bonus: The call is long distance, to a non-cat person, and
you keep them on the line for more than 2 hours.)

Your cat eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately
afterward, of course).

Your cat gets his teeth brushed daily, scaled weekly, and dental cleaning at
the vet's every 6-12 months--and you can't remember your dentist's name.

Your cat gets regular checkups every 6 months, but you've lived in the state
for five years and don't have a doctor yourself. (Score double points on
this one if you have a reserve vet lined up for your cats as well.)

Your cat gets sick and you sleep next to him in a sleeping bag in the
kitchen in case he needs to go out.

Your cat has the best birthday party over and above any kid in the entire
neighborhood

Your cat is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her a
small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.

Your cat is the star of your Website!

Your cat sleeps with you.

Your cats eat only the most nutritionally sound food, while your favorite
meal is mac'n cheese

Your cats have their own Christmas card and gift list -- and they receive
cards and gifts in return.

Your e-mail address includes your cat's name.

Your friends know which chair not to sit in

Your license plate, license-plate frame, or bumper sticker mentions your cat or breed.

Your medications are available at the drug store down the block, but your cat's medication has to be ordered from and shipped by a specialist.

Your mom calls and asks how the grandcats are

Your Mother's Day (birthday, anniversary, etc.) present is a kitten.

Your parents give up on grandchildren and start to refer to your cats as
"your kids" or your children." (Bonus: they start to call them "our
grandcats.")

Your parents refer to your pet as their grandcat, remember her birthday, and
send her greeting cards and gifts.

Your personal library is heavy on cat books.

Your photo Christmas cards feature your cats (humans optional).

Your spouse issues the ultimatum: "It's them or me!" and you have no problem
pointing out the suitcase

Your trunk has an emergency food kit for any strays you might come across

Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.

Your vet, back-up vet, emergency vet clinic are all programmed speed dials on your telephone.

Your vet's office number is the first one on your speed dial list, his home is number two

You're more familiar with cat laws than you are with people laws

You're willing to pet sit, but not baby sit for friends.

You've conducted a taste test for cat food by buying multiple brands of
food and evaluating your cat's interest in each one. (Extra points if you
made a party out of it and invited other friends and their cats over. Or
tasted it yourself.)

You've considered moving into the kennel since it's cleaner than your house.

You've had long meaningful discussions with your friends on the best way to
trim your cat's nails, but have never had a manicure or pedicure in your
lifetime.

You've memorized the vet's phone number. (Bonus points if you have his home
phone memorized as well.)

Your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress

You think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter

You don't admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have

You sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move
You kiss your cat on the whiskers

You feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork

Your cat sleep on your head

You have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator

You watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote

You stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in.

You give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas

You put off making the bed until the cat gets up

All dates must pass your dog's inspection All of your clothes have dog hair on them, even when they come back from the laundromat or dry cleaners. You get birthday cards for each of your dogs from family, friends, and the vet. (Bonus if you keep them on the refrigerator for more than a month.) Every gift you ever get has something to do with dogs Kiss your dog more than 10 times per greeting. All your non-dog friends know to dress down when visiting your house Books and movies are ruined for you if the dog references are incorrect. Onlookers grimace at the sight of you sharing your sandwich with your four-legged pal, bite for bite Call long distance and talk with your dog. Dog hair in food is just another spice. If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog. Any conversation you're having is effortlessly directed back to the topic of dogs 90 percent of your Internet connection time goes to the dogs (seeing what's new when you enter your breed into the browser, reading up on multiple lists, checking out photos, sounds and faqs, etc.). All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the checkbook All of your charitable donations go to dog-related and humane society groups. All of your furniture came to you second hand or via curbside discard, but your dog crates are top of the line, industry premium. All your social activities revolve around other dog people Your voice is recognized by your vet's receptionist And after 3 and a half hours of grooming you let that beautiful creature out to go potty before bedtime and he turns and looks back at you, all clean and pretty, he smiles a little smile that warms your heart so deeply that words can never say. A picture you will remember forever. When the dog comes back in you realize he has been rolling in the dead bird/squirrel you thought you carefully buried that morning. Anyone can look at your (pick all that apply) --- T-shirt - sweatshirt - coffee mug - keychain - beach towel - cooking apron - couch throw - tote bag - computer screen saver/wallpaper/mousepad/wristpad/monitor frame - gift wrapping paper - photographic displays - calendars - refrigerator magnets - weather vane - door mat - bumper stickers - umbrella - Christmas sweater - socks - embroidery project - child's collection of stuffed animals - sheets and bedspread - checks - checkbook covers - throw pillows - Home Pages --- and know immediately that you are a dog lover, AND probably what particular breed you favor. At least three of your five weeks vacation are scheduled around grooming, vaccinations and dental cleaning...all for the dogs! City officials come to your home and say "Your dogs are barking." And you can't figure out what the problem is. Complete strangers call you on the phone to ask questions because they heard you were a" dog person" Cut your vacations to 3 day weekends only. Dog crates double as chairs and/or tables in your family room Everyone at the office is eager to know if the dogs are all right because you were late for the meeting First time visitors wonder aloud: "Do you smell something?" and you really don't In upstate New York this year, let's get out the map and see what else is interesting in that area..." or "Let's go on a walking tour or Savannah so we can bring the dogs along now what hotel chains allow dogs?") Introduce your dog to the photographer and ask would you like to kiss fido also. It takes an entirely separate garbage can to handle the poop It's easier to get a hairdresser's appointment for yourself than it is to get one for your dog. You are on an email list with other dog people and each one of them feels like more than family. Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week. More than half your grocery money goes to dog food and treats Most of your social life is with other dog people. Most of your vacation pictures are of dogs around the world. No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s). No one wants to ride in your car because they know they'll get dog hair on their clothes. Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your dogs are welcome to sleep on any piece they so choose On your 1040 form all your charitable donations are to Humane Societies, Shelters and Rescue groups. On your Christmas list to 'Santa' you only want crooks, whistles, jumps, doggie sweater, doggie 'gum ball machine', a place to have sheep, and oh yes, the sheep. One of your vet files is labeled "Other" Order 250 Xmas photos of just the dog, no family in photos. Order 5x7 photos of the kids and order 16 x20 of SPOT. Overnight guests (who share your bed) are offended by having to sleep with you and the dog(s) Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other. Relative solidity of dog excrement is a suitable topic for discussion in mixed company. Tax rebates go to "the dog fund" or a spending spree through the supply catalogs. The cost of boarding your furkids equals that of your entire vacation The dog's kibble is stored in 45 gallon garbage cans, and the water is kept in a bucket with it's own drip tray under it. (Score extra if you have had a water tap installed over the bucket to save time, or [for longhaired breeds] if you keep a towel lying permanently on the floor to soak up drips and squeegee around with your foot.) The family's eye doctor is located in town, but the dog's ophthalmologist is located a two-hour drive away. The first question you ask when on a date is: "So, do you like animals?" The guardians of your dogs will receive a larger amount of insurance policy money than will all other members of your family, combined. The highlight of your day is spending time with your dog. The instructions to the dog kennel are longer than the instructions to the house sitter. The largest display of collectibles in the house is dog stuff -- plates, photos, cards, etc. The majority of your charitable contributions go to animal organizations The most exciting times on vacations, no matter where in the world you go, is when you get to pet a dog (a "canine fix"). The number one priority when buying a new house is the size and landscape of the backyard The only (or at least first) forum you log onto is the animal forum The only thing your friends, colleagues, and passing acquaintances say to you when they see you is, "How are the dogs?" or "How many dogs do you have now?" The only time you use your camper is for dog shows. The part of the backyard you finish first is the dog run. The part of your will dealing with your dogs is longer than any other part. The sound of any liquid hitting the floor two rooms away at 3 a.m. Is enough to launch you out of bed; but otherwise you can sleep through a ringing telephone, the alarm clock, earthquake tremors, etc. The thought of changing a baby's diaper makes you swoon, but you can pick up dog poop barehanded, if necessary, without batting an eye The total "poundage" of canines outweighs the total poundage of humans in the household. The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work. The whereabouts of all your important legal and personal documents escapes you, yet you know precisely where to locate the file that includes all the vet records, breed papers and registration The word "bitch" becomes non-derogatory and flows naturally in most conversations. To win a precious $.75 show ribbon, you think nothing to forking out hundreds of dollars to board/pet sit the other dogs, pay for entry fees, gas, accommodations and meals Vaccination and licensing records for all your dogs are in perfect order, but your checkbook hasn't been balanced in months, and last year's tax records are nowhere to be found. When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice. While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the dog?" You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore. You and your family haven't had your annual check up in two years, but the dogs are all medically up to date You are the only idiot out walking in the pouring rain, but your dog needs her walk. You are unbelievably pleased to receive a dog item (any dog item) as a gift --especially from a "non-dog" friend. (They really cared even if it's not your breed.) You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. You become paranoid about keeping ID on your dog at all times (collar, tags, microchip, tattoo), but don't bother to carry any ID yourself. You become the family dog kennel for all your relatives You believe every dog is a lap dog. You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names. You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog. You break down and buy another pillow so you can have one to sleep on You buy a $20.00 stuffed toy and within an hour you find toy stuffing all over the yard. You and the dogs bow your heads in silent prayer. You buy a bigger bed that will comfortably sleep six You buy a mini-van to give them all enough travel room You buy premium quality dog kibble for your dog, but live on take-out, frozen pizza, and blue-box macaroni and cheese yourself. You buy vitamin supplements for your dog and administer them daily (wrapped in cheese if necessary), but consider yourself fortunate if you remember to take your own more than twice a week. You can only remember people by associating them with their dog You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog. You can't remember family birthdays and anniversaries, but you can rattle off a six generation pedigree with birthdates, health data and coat colors at the drop of a hat. You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside. You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times. You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human. You carry plastic "pick-up" bags and an extra kennel lead in your purse, pocket, and car at all times. You celebrate dog events (new dog, dog birthday, finished championships, etc.) by throwing catered parties with lots of people--but you ignore your own birthday. You change jobs so you can spend more time with the dogs. You chirp, cluck, whistle, make kissy noises, and give "stay" and "heel" commands to your car. (Bonus: if you do this and give the "beg" command to your significant other.) You consider dog crates to be an inspired form of interior decorating. (Bonus: you use them as end tables in your living room.) You decide to downsize from a huge house in the city to an average country cottage with lots of land in order to build the kennel of your dreams You describe your children as having temperaments rather than personalities You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog. You don't mind it when you find dog hair in the sink, tub, embedded in the carpet or your clothes, or mixed in your food. (Take an extra point if you don't bother trying to remove the hair from your food--extra protein right?). You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story). You don't think twice about sitting on the floor because both the couch and the chair are completely dog full You don't think twice about trading licks of an ice cream cone with your dog. You don't work late or socialize after work because you have to get home to take care of your dog. You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water. You get so frustrated about the lack of cable TV in your area that you get a satellite dish or direct feed so you can watch the Westminster Kennel Club Show on the Madison Square Garden network. You go to pet supply stores on weekends because it's one of the few places you can take your dog. You take your dog for rides in the car; and treat him to a drive-thru window burger at mcdonalds on special occasions. You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore. You hate posing for pictures unless you're with your dog. You hate to go to the grocery store for people food, but when the dog treats are gone, off you go with no hesitation, even at the busiest time. You have *two* dog doors between the house and the fenced yard, so the doggies can run circles, half inside, half outside. You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but the dog understands them all. You have a bad day and decide that your dog is the best "person" to talk it over with. You have a case of Summer's Eve disposable douche in the house for emergency treatment of a skunk attack. (Extra points given if a male has picked this up for you at the store.) You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids. You have a plastic kiddie wading pool in the back yard, but no kids. (Double points if you have a pool for each dog.) You have extra dog collars and leashes on the walls, grooming tools on the TV and sofa, dog beds strewn across all flat surfaces, kibble crud around the base of your cabinets, chew toys everywhere, dog-fur dust rhinos skidding across the carpet, and a long line of drips from the water bucket to the living room across the hardwood floors--and you don't care. (Bonus and automatic win if you have important company coming and you ignore all the housekeeping in order to groom the dogs before company arrives.) You have hundreds of pictures of your dogs on your desk at work, in your wallet, etc., but none of your family or yourself. You have kiddie gates permanently installed at strategic locations in the house--but no kids. You have nose prints on all glass surfaces--windows, doors, inside the car, etc.--and you leave them there because cleaning them seems so futile at this point. You have little songs that you sing to your dog, and she always wags when you sing, even though you can't carry a tune. You have memorized the addresses of your breed association, local clubs, and the AKC. You have more dog beds, chew toys, collars, leashes, harnesses, and dog crates than you have dogs (Bonus points if you've kept puppy collars, toys, and crates for "the next one"). You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been. You have three Home Pages -- all of them dealing with your dogs, your friends' dogs, your dogs' friends, etc. You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone. You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's). You justify the addition of a significant other in your life so you can have someone around to pet sit when you go away on business travel. You justify the addition of a significant other in your life so you can have someone to hold the dogs when you're out walking in town and want to run into a store to buy coffee or ice cream. You justify the purchase of a larger vehicle or house because of the dogs. You keep 2-liter bottles of water and a water dish in the car at all times. You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor...). You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta. You keep license tags from dogs that have passed away. You keep the heartworm medication in the refrigerator in the "deli drawer." You know more about canine nutrition than human nutrition (and it shows). You lecture people on responsible pet ownership and breed rescue whenever you can. You let the neighbor's dog sleep over. You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't. You look at every poop in your yard before you pick it up making your neighbors think you are weird. (What is even better is the looks on their faces when you stuff the really fresh doodie into a plastic bag for safe keeping until you can get to the vet's.) You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog. You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog. You meet other people with dogs, and remember their dog's call name after 30 seconds, but don't get the owner/handler's name until you've met them 2 or 3 times. (At which point you know the dog's registered name, lineage, show history, and probably only the first name of the owner/handler. Last names take 3-4 meetings unless you've heard about the people from other dog people first.) You meet someone when out walking your dogs and you introduce your dogs first. You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too). You never think about how much money you spend on the dogs (or how much debt you could reduce by not having them around). You no longer have to buy extra large garbage bags, because the empty, 40 pound dog food bags work just as well You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog. You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-ups pops out. You order a tailor-made dog blanket to keep your aging dog warm, but don't wear anything yourself that didn't come through a production line. You pick up other dogs' excrement when you go on walks in your neighborhood. You plan all vacations around dog activities/events. ("Well, our breed specialty is in upstate New York this year, let's get out the map and see what else is interesting in that area..." or "Let's go on a walking tour or Savannah so we can bring the dogs along--now what hotel chains allow dogs?") You politely bow out of an important social engagement so you can attend a dog show You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable. You reach into your pockets for change, and liver treats, dog kibble, and pick-up bags fall all over. (Bonus: You've done this in a classy establishment.) You read a newspaper article by pieces in the front yard and don't think there's anything strange about doing this. You readily allow your dogs to give you slobbery kisses, but you don't dare wipe a toddler's nose You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy. You rip up the carpet and lay tile to make clean up so much easier You run out of books to read on your breed/interest and hear about a new book being released in another country. You call every person you know and start to figure out exchange rates,query the Internet, etc. To obtain it. Susan Conant's "Dog Lover Mysteries," however humorously told, sounds like real life. You rush to get home from work in time to get some of what your spouse is fixing for the dogs, since s/he doesn't cook for you. You save every dog magazine you've ever bought. If a conversation with your family includes: "Are dogs all you *ever* think about? They are running your life--all your money, time, friends, vacation, and holidays are spent with the dogs. Even your house and car!!..." and you can still smile. You save up for months before a specialty show in order to round out your collection, You send out especially-made holiday cards that feature you and the dogs You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all her favorite spots. You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog. You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first. You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work. You slipcover all the furniture in a complementary color to your dog to make it easier to hide/remove the dog hair. You snuggle closer to the dog than the person with whom you are sleeping You spend a fortune to visit another country, and spend all your time visiting kennels. You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself. You spend more time and effort grooming your dog than yourself. (And it shows--your dog gets more compliments than you do.) You spend more time looking through mail order catalogs for dog supplies than for Victoria's Secret nighties. You spend more time on the computer dealing with "dog stuff" than "other stuff" You stagger your dog magazine subscriptions to make sure you'll receive one every week You start barking at your children to "Sit! Stay!" You take a sick day from work to take care of your dog. You take bereavement leave when you dog dies. You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid. You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers. You think about saving all the fur from your dog's spring shed to have it made into a sweater. You use kennel disinfectant in the house. You use your down payment for a new van to have cataract surgery on your old dog and drive the van you have for 3 more years. (What good is a new van if she can't see out the window?) You wake in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and your feet hit a wet spot. You look at the dog in bed with you and he looks at you like "Not me!...Must have been one of the other dogs." You watch simply awful movies because your breed is either featured in a cameo scene or there's a 3-second camera shot during a crowd scene. (Bonus points awarded if you move through the scene frame by frame or in slow motion, or if you watch the rest of the movie.) You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie. You'll buy anything with your breed on it--even the mug with the Malamute on it that looks like an anemic Siberian Husky, or the Greyhound keychain that looks more like an IG. (Note: People owned by rare breeds are very susceptible to this disease.) Your "Welcome" sign has a dog on it. Your bedspread doesn't have to coordinate with the bedroom, as it's always covered with a sheet for the dogs, anyway. Ditto for the couches. Your carpeting matches the color of your dog-purposely Your children (wife, husband, etc.) Complain that you always take more pictures of the dog than you do of them Half your laundry is dog blankets, sheets, and beds. (Bonus: Your dog was sick on them and you have to sneak into the local laundromat at midnight to do the wash.) Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies Your desk proudly displays your canine family Your dog brings a dead bird/squirrel into the kitchen and generously gives it to you with a big smile. You say "For me? Thank you." and take it for granted it is just another day. Your dog decides he doesn't like someone and you tend to agree Your dog does something wonderfully cute, and you call your friends to tell them about it. (Bonus: The call is long distance, to a non-dog person, and you keep them on the line for more than 2 hours.) Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course). Your dog gets a deep cut on the pad of his foot and gets emergency medical attention at the vet; but you break your toes and settle for taping them together with duct tape and taking some aspirin to kill the pain. Your dog gets his coat stripped/trimmed more often than you get a hair cut. Your dog gets his teeth brushed daily, scaled weekly, and dental cleaning at the vet's every 6-12 months--and you can't remember your dentist's name. Your dog gets regular checkups every 6 months, but you've lived in the state for five years and don't have a doctor yourself. (Score double points on this one if you have a reserve vet lined up for your dogs as well.) Your dog gets sick and you sleep next to him in a sleeping bag in the kitchen in case he needs to go out. Your dog has the best birthday party over and above any kid in the entire neighborhood Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself. Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site! Your dog sleeps with you. Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over Your dogs eat only the most nutritionally sound food, while your favorite meal is mac'n cheese Your dogs have a larger wardrobe of holiday-related bandanas than you do. Your dogs have their own Christmas card and gift list -- and they receive cards and gifts in return. Your dogs have their own Christmas tree -- and it's so full of ornaments that they need a larger one. Your e-mail address is your kennel name. Your family has resigned themselves to the fact that you're bringing your dog to all holiday gatherings (or you don't bother coming at all.) Your favorite month is April - National Dog Appreciation Month! Your file is the only one that remains in the "IN" box at the vet's office Your file rivals War And Peace Your first concern when planning a vacation is whether or not the hotel will take pets Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else. Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding. Your friends invite you to a fun night out at the dinner theater and you say no because you would rather be home grooming your dogs. Or the new subscription from a dog magazine came and you want to read it. Your friends know which chair not to sit in Your license plate, license-plate frame, or bumper sticker mentions your dog or breed. Your medications are available at the drug store down the block, but your dog's medication has to be ordered from and shipped by a specialist. Your mom calls and asks how the granddogs are Your mood today depends on how yesterday's training session went. Your Mother's Day (birthday, anniversary, etc.) Present is a puppy. Your parents give up on grandchildren and start to refer to your dogs as "your kids" or your children." (Bonus: they start to call them "our granddogs.") Your parents refer to your pet as their granddog, remember her birthday, and send her greeting cards and gifts. Your personal calendar has notations in it for heartworm medication, vaccine and license renewals, obedience class, breed club meetings, local shows, sale days at Cherrybrook, etc.--but few or no family events. Your personal library is heavy on dog books -- and so is the library for which you order books. Your photo Christmas cards feature your dogs (humans optional). Your spouse issues the ultimatum: "It's them or me!" and you have no problem pointing out the suitcase Your trunk has an emergency food kit for any strays you might come across Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent. Your vet takes a few extra courses just to keep up with your breed's assorted ailments Your vet, back-up vet, emergency vet clinic, and obedience instructor are all programmed speed dials on your telephone. Your vet's office number is the first one on your speed dial list, his home is number two Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days). You're more concerned with the dogs' needs than your own when the budget gets tight You're more familiar with dog laws than you are with people laws You're willing to drive an hour in a snowstorm to make it to obedience class, but can't be bothered to drive the 30 minutes to a friend's house for dinner or to visit. You're willing to pet sit, but not baby sit for friends. You've conducted a taste test for dog kibble by buying multiple brands of food and evaluating your dog's interest in each one. (Extra points if you made a party out of it and invited other friends and their dogs over. Or tasted it yourself.) You've considered moving into the kennel since it's cleaner than your house. You've had long meaningful discussions with your friends on the best way to trim your dog's nails, but have never had a manicure or pedicure in your lifetime. You've just spent $60 on groceries and realize none of it is for yourself. You've memorized the vet's phone number. (Bonus points if you have his home phone memorized as well.) You've memorized you dog's pedigree at least 5 generations back (including coat colors, kennels, and personality descriptions)--but know next to nothing about your own parentage. You've traced your dog's family tree further than you have your own http://www.dogowners.com/

More sites to come..but...only FOUR MORE HOURS LEFT!!!

Congrats to everyone still in! :)

dumb moments

I'm too tired to even laugh at these people. hahahaha. I actually feel sorry for most of them. Ek!